The best-laid plans...

A close friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy last year and her first words to her mother after the delivery were, "Mom, it didn't go according to plan!"  My friend's delivery was undoubtedly scarier than average, with her blood pressure reaching such dangerous levels that I'm sure the final moments in the delivery room were filled more with fear and confusion than whatever magical glow she and her husband might have anticipated.  But in the end, my friend was exhausted but okay and her baby boy was healthy.  "According to plan" or no, the delivery was a success.

Women are strongly encouraged to write up and discuss a "birth plan" with their healthcare provider in the weeks before their anticipated due date.  The plans include details about whether drugs should be used and when, whether or not the laboring woman will be able to walk around, how many people should be in the room, how and how often the baby will be monitored, whether or not an episiotomy should be performed, whether forceps should be used, who should cut the cord, under what circumstances a cesarean should be considered, who should hold the baby immediately after birth, when breastfeeding should occur, whether the baby should be given a bottle or pacifier, etc, etc...  The advantage of a birth plan is that it allows you to communicate clearly to your doctor what your wishes are regarding your birth experience.  The disadvantage, however, is that drawing up a birth plan may give parents a false expectation that things are actually likely to proceed as outlined in the plan, when they very well may not.

Moment of Clarity Brought on by Pregnancy Insomnia (Or, perhaps more accurately, the disorganized ramblings of a sleep-deprived mind)

This past week, sleep has become elusive, mostly because pregnancy has finally caught up with me and I can no longer find a sleeping position that is comfortable for more than an hour at a time.  If I am initially exhausted enough, I may sleep for 2 or three hours, interrupted only once by having to get up to pee, if I'm lucky.  But by 4 hours into the night, I find that my hips ache and any attempts to re-position myself elicit an alarming sensation that my pubic symphysis is about to separate completely, cause my uterus to rest more fully on my bladder, and wake whichever baby suddenly finds him/herself suddenly sandwiched between the mattress and their sibling after having enjoyed being on "top" before.  So, tonight, I gave up on sleep and decided to just be awake for awhile.  I put on my robe, visited the restroom to empty my flattened bladder, and waddled to the office.  

On my favorite internet forum for pregnant ladies, and women trying to get pregnant, I read a post from a girl who is very newly pregnant, having just gotten her first ever-so-faint positive home urine pregnancy test a day or two ago.  She commented on how surreal it was to say out loud that she was pregnant when she had absolutely no symptoms of pregnancy, that she felt like a liar with nothing to confirm it but a faint line on a pee stick.  She compared it to suddenly waking up and declaring yourself to have a different race or different name or something similarly significant.  I felt I knew exactly what she meant, and I replied:

"That sensation of ”feeling like a liar” doesn't necessarily go away just because you start having symptoms. Even as absurdly, obviously pregnant as I am now, even being able to feel my twins thumping me in the ribs and having people eye me suspiciously as if they’re afraid my water will break at any moment, even having a nursery more or less prepared, somehow the whole idea that Lee and I are on the verge of having two little people that belong to us is very surreal.