In defense of foreskin

A couple of years ago, I wrote in my previous blog about circumcision.  I concluded that entry by saying:

As far as I am concerned, circumcision is an elective cosmetic procedure being routinely performed on individuals who are incapable of giving consent. Although they can not communicate the extent, and do not remember years later, circumcision causes infants stress and at least some degree of pain. And although the complications are infrequent, it is by no means clear that the benefits outweigh the risks. Therefore, I would not, as a doctor, recommend neonatal circumcision to my patients, I would not perform neonatal circumcisions, and my sons, if I have any, will not be circumcised. That said, I understand that many people have and will continue to choose circumcision with the best of intentions. I only hope that parents who have yet to make those decisions will do so with an open mind and as true an understanding of the facts as is possible.

How amazing is my husband?

When I returned to clinical rotations 4 weeks ago, I met two other female students who were also beginning rotations at the same hospital.  While we waited to get our paperwork and badges completed, we chatted, and I mentioned that I had 8-week-old twins at home.  One of the students gaped and said, "How do you do it?  How do you manage school with pregnancy and now having twins?"  Before I could answer, the other student said, "The real question is, 'How amazing is your husband?'"  I smiled, grateful that she had asked the question that made my answer so easy.  "So amazing," I said.  And I meant it.

In honor of Valentine's Day, I just wanted to take a moment to brag on my husband. He's handsome and smart (complete with an advanced degree), he can fix anything (eg. my computer, my car) and he enjoys baking French pastries from scratch.  In my first two years of medical school, he cooked dinners while I studied, gave me frequent back massages and always let me pick the movie to watch after an exam, even if it was a chick flick.  While I was pregnant, he massaged my feet every day and baked cookies for me in the middle of the night if I had a craving.  And now that the twins are here, he stays up late each night so I can get enough sleep to function the next day.  I used to say that his one flaw was that he was impossibly cranky when he first woke up in the morning.  But somehow, he's managed to overcome even that, which is remarkable considering that he is getting less sleep than ever.  (It probably doesn't hurt that Eva grins from ear to ear when she sees him leaning over the crib at the crack of dawn.)

So, how do I manage juggling school and pregnancy and babies?  The real question is, "How amazing is my husband?"  So amazing.

A few practical suggestions for new parents based on personal experience

There are countless books and websites with advice on parenting so I won't pretend that I have anything new or profound to add to the general pool.  But what follows are are just a few things that I would tell a friend about to become a parent for the first time.

First, get the book, Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads.  As you can tell from the cover, it's meant to be funny, and it is.  But it is also, hands down, the best parenting book that I've come across, chock full of the practical advice it promises.  It's concise and easy and fun to read with helpful and hilarious illustrations.  I bought or was given a few other parenting books during my pregnancy, which weren't particularly interesting to read before the babies were born and which I have had no time to read since.  But this book, which I bought for Lee, is one that we actually consulted frequently in the first couple of weeks at home.  We poured over the illustrations of various techniques for burping babies at 3 am as we tried to get the twins to stop fussing so they could go back to sleep and read their suggestions for bathing babies immediately before Eva got her first bath.  And the fact that it is written for dads sets it apart from man parenting books which seem to focus on mom.  I would suggest pairing it with this book, which is a more mundane but also practical and a bit more comprehensive.

The truth about newborns

Something wonderful has happened in the past week.  It seemed to happen quite suddenly and I can pinpoint the precise moment when I first noticed it.  Five or six nights ago, in the middle of the night, shortly after I had finished nursing and changing the twins, as I was putting Eva back into her velcro swaddler, she smiled at me. She looked directly at me and her whole face lit up in an unmistakable expression of baby joy, a joy that I truly felt had something to do with me.  In the days that have followed, I have detected in both Liam and Eva a blossoming awareness of the world around them and, in particular, an increasing awareness of us.  And now that it's happened, I feel that I can finally be more honest about what it's been like up until this point.

The incredible vulnerability of parenthood

Liam's big, bulbous, and, as it turns out,
perfect head.

When the twins were 6 days old, I experienced for the first time just how vulnerable my transition to parenthood had made me when I took the twins for their first check-up with the pediatrician.  Initially, the visit went very well.  Everyone made a big fuss over our tiny brood in the waiting room and the medical assistant beamed at them warmly as she took their measurements in the exam room.  The doctor complimented me on their weight gain, both almost back to their birth weights*, a great accomplishment for a breastfed baby, she said. The doctor said everything looked great and my babies appeared to be perfectly healthy.  But then Dr. R. glanced at the measurements the medical assistant had taken and examined Liam's head.  "His head seems to have grown a bit since Friday, a bit more than we would expect.  Had you noticed?"  My heart suddenly seemed to have dropped into my stomach.  I had noticed.

A couple of days before, I had looked at my son and thought how large his head looked, how sort of bulb-shaped it was, and had, for just a moment, thought to myself how he almost looked like a baby with hydrocephalus...

The pervasive myth of the breastfeeding diet and gassy babies

If you've ever attempted to breastfeed, then you know that you should avoid eating certain foods because they may give your baby gas, and we all know that gassy babies are often unhappy babies, and unhappy babies make for exhausted parents.  You will have heard this recommendation from your peers, but probably also from a "reputable" source, like the lactation consultant at the hospital, or a doctor, at at the very least from an infinite pool of online resources.  It's a bit disappointing after 9 months of avoiding alcohol and deli meats to still be deprived of certain foods, but it seems like a small price to pay for a happier baby.

The only problem is that it's all complete nonsense.

Our fur friend's timely departure

The evening before the twins were born, I discovered my pet ferret, Lars, had died in his sleep.  As sad as I was to lose my fur friend, I can't imagine a better way or a more appropriate time for him to have left us.  Lars was 8 and a half years old, "a venerable age for a ferret", as my uncle put it.  He was my first real pet after leaving home (excepting some dorm room hermit crabs), adopted during my senior year of college.  In his lifetime, I had adopted and lost 2 other ferrets and a cat but Lars had outlived them all.  He has been the one constant in my life through the countless apartments and 3 houses I've lived in, through numerous relationships, 4 different jobs, and 2 states.  Lars had already been with me 5 years when I met my husband.  Suffice to say, Lars was very special to me.